Natalie's Letter

Dear distressed,

I truly understand how suffocating and meaningless it feels to be alive right now. The loneliness and isolation you feel from your friends, family, and all of life must be so painful. I also understand that you are feeling so conflicted right now, and this does not feel good. On one hand you long to be your most authentic self and to speak your truth; you wish people could understand and help you but you are also afraid to let them in. I want you to know that despite all of this, you will be okay. Trust me.

While it is easier to withdraw and shut out the world, I wish you could realize just how resilient and courageous you are. Do you realize that despite all that you have endured, you are still here… alive and breathing? Neither me, nor your body and spirit will ever give up on you. Darling I wish for you to know that you are not alone in your internal struggle. I wish for you to know that you will recover from this depression and this vicious eating disorder. I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. Even if you cannot take this in in this moment, I want you to know that you are worthy and valued. And you know what? Life is not easy. Life is challenging and difficult not because you are doing it wrong, it is simply the nature of our human condition. This dark night of the soul you are experiencing is actually an inevitable abyss you have to go through in order to heal and renew. 

There is a saying, feel it to heal it.  So let your tears flow, don’t hold them back; let them cleanse what needs to be cleansed. Do not be afraid of your emotions, feelings, and thoughts regardless of their content. You will come to understand them with time. The dark thought, the sorrow, the loneliness and the inner critic are simply outcries for love and acceptance. I promise you that you will learn to cope with them instead of being reduced by them. 

And hey, when was the last time you put on a song that makes you come alive? Put it on! Let the music you are inclined toward fill you. And don’t forget to spend some time in nature if it available to you. Take in some fresh air. Seat by the ocean… lean against a tree. Or simply look up into the big blue sky.  I promise you that you will experience the beauty of the world and who you are once again. You will surpass these dark moments as long as you are willing to continue walking the path.

I see you and love you whole-heartedly. I acknowledge all of you. You are not alone and I will always be here to support you. Oh and one last thing, never let anyone tell you that you are overly sensitive. Your sensitivity is a gift. A  gift that will help you develop a strong intuition.

With all my love,

Future me